ROLL UP, ROLL UP, sew up all your loose plot threads here!
Writing ladies and gents, I give you The One… The Only… The ultimate must-have accessory for the discerning novelist: yes, it’s THE INCREDIBLE PLOT TIE-ER UPPER, complete with needle-wielding monkeys (fresh from typing the Complete Works of Shakespeare) and a state of the art out-tray to capture your finished work of genius.
You’ll be the envy of all your writing friends with this essential piece of editing kit, and thanks to its impressive dual-powered renewable energy sources* the Plot Tie-er Upper costs just pence to run. Simply feed your loose plot strands into the integral feed-funnel (along with a generous serving of bananas) and let the magical monkeys do their work. Forgotten sub-plots and unresolved problems will be a thing of the past thanks to THE INCREDIBLE PLOT TIE-ER UPPER. Don’t delay. Order yours today.
*N.B. The Incredible Plot Tie-er Upper is powered by wind (sighs) and traction (head-scratching). A back-up battery pack is also available at participating outlets.